Would you leave me too?
by feistalobo
Summary: one-shot of Cas' music choice and Dean's opinion; includes one of those silent staring conversations they always seem to have. No out right obvious Destiel but, hey, that's what they say about the show and yet here we shippers are. Hope you all enjoy, and there is more information inside! Reviews and rates give me joy!


****PULL UP GALAPAGOS BY** **SMASHING PUMPKINS WHEN READING.** **PLEASE AND THANK YOU****

During Dean and Cas' silent convo, I have their 'dialogue' marked differently.

Dean: _'blahblahblah'_

Cas:_ 'blahblahblah'_

the lyrics are the words_** "that look like**** this"**_

* * *

"Smashing Pumpkins, Cas? Really?"

Cas' eyes flicked downward but his posture remained as stiff as ever.

"I enjoy many of their compositions. Their music..." Cas frowned, unsure of how to continue.

"Their music what? lays the bad singing down too heavy? is the same song just with different titles? Cas I'm telling you, they ARE NOT your best choice." Dean turned back to his disassembled gun, the pieces gleaming with a ferocious excitement that can only come from well-kept gun metal.

Cas didn't reply, his gaze once again rising back to the words that sat atop the pages splayed out in front of him.

When the chords of _Galapagos_ began to shutter through the air, Dean felt the need to press the issue further. His mouth arched open, ready to fire off more remarks of poor taste.

He looked to Cas again, oddly desperate to make eye contact and get the point across that Cas should have better musical taste for being an ex-angel of the Lord.

He saw Cas' face, his eyes clouded and distant, his mouth a forced line of despondence, but it was obvious to no one but Dean that he was sad.

"Their music... resonates with me." Cas mumbled quietly.

Dean tried to play off the whole thing, and by play it off, I mean continue to rant about how bad Smashing Pumpkins are.

Until the words of _Galapagos_ began to settle into his ears like the fine sediments of the sea.

**_"... And I won't deny the pain."_**

**_"And I won't deny the change"_**

**_"And should I fall from grace here with you"_**

**_"Will you leave me too?"_**

Dean's voice stilled in his throat before his vocal chords could even vibrate.

He listened, and if you were to ask him he'd say he only did it to be nice to Cas, NOT to listen to the profound melody that seemed to suddenly make sense with his 'best friend's' current situation.

**_"Carve out your heart for keeps in an old oak tree"_**

**_"And hold me for goodbyes-and whispered lullabyes"_**

**_"And tell me I am still"_**

**_"The man I'm supposed to be"_**

**_"I won't deny the pain"_**

**_"I won't deny the change"_**

**_"And should I fall from grace here with you"_**

**_"Will you leave me too?"_**

Dean could FEEL the questions before they were even formed in Cas' eyes; silent pondering things, that obviously came up often by the way Cas seemed so ready to ask himself again.

_'I am no longer an angel, but have I failed as your protector too? I fear I have, because I can only protect you as a body taking a blow for you, nothing more.'_

Hi gaze wavered and flashed back to Dean, asking his opinion, but Dean simply stared, damning his throat for staying so quiet.

He pressed his answers as best he could through his own pupils and into Cas', but the pained look still remained in his friend's eyes.

_'Cas you are not the man you once were, but that doesn't mean what you've become is worse. You've changed, but we've all changed and all we can do is give our best. We are all ruined.'_

**_"Too late to turn to turn back now, I'm running out of sound"_**

**_"And I'm changing, changing"_**

**_"And if we died right now, this fool you loved somehow"_**

**_"Is here with you"_**

**_"I won't deny the pain"_**

**_"I won't deny the change"_**

**_"And should I fall from grace here with you"_**

**_"Would you leave me too?"_**

Cas snapped his eyes down to his own form, _'Look at what I've become Dean, a Human, I've changed. I can Die.'_

Dean frowned pointedly,_ 'It's OK that you're human Cas, It's OK.'_

Cas seemed to be subdued by this answer, but there was still something there, swirling in the back of his eyes, where the worst thoughts lived.

Dean saw it and glanced down, somehow he'd managed to finish cleaning and reassembling his gun without looking at it.

He stood, the air choking him and the sounds of the next song thumping into his ears.

He placed the gun in his bag and kept his back turned.

"No Cas. I won't leave you." Dean spoke with his usual gruff authoritativeness.

He didn't see the look of relief aimed for his back as he reached for his next weapon, but he did hear the small breath that hitched in Cas' chest.

and Dean felt it resonate in his very core,suddenly he understood exactly what Cas meant.

An unexplainable desire to have, what ever it was that resonated, close so that you could feel that kind of unknown connection; despite it's imperfections or unpopularity.

Dean sat back on the bed, a new gun already falling apart from his touch.

Cas smiled slightly and went back to his reading.

Dean never bad-mouthed Smashing Pumpkins again.

* * *

_**I uh... was listening to the album Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness by Smashing Pumpkins and I heard This song come on and I had to pause for a moment because I could just SEE Cas listening to this and liking it but being sad. Plus there've been a bunch of Destiel-ish music fics that have come out within the past couple days and I was feeling left out.**_

_**So yeah, this is it, I love the band so please don't send hate regarding Dean's opinion (honestly he probably does like their music IDK) uhm... Reviews do make me smile and keep me kinda motivated so if you have a moment and a kind word to spare... I'm all ears!**_


End file.
